Sample Writing

Recently, I rewrote a movie review for someone (who has chosen to remain anonymous). Here is the original:

Aamir Khan “Dangal” – Full of emotional inspiring Story 

After long time this Saturday morning at 9 o’clock I went to Manhattan AMC 25 Theater to watch Aamir Khan brand new movie Dangal. I was so excited to watch this movie of Mr. Perfection (Aamir Khan). Who gives always blockbuster movie to the audiences. He is so outstanding in this movie too. This movie inspires you to do hard work in the life. Their hard work, dedication and struggle makes you cry. This is very emotional movie. I have few comments about this movie. According to wiki, Mahabir Sing Phogat is an Olympics coach Phogat was awarded the Dronacharya Award by the Government of India In the movie in my opinion if they showed that it could be extra better. 

Havent seen a better movie in a decade. Absulately brillent movie renounced film director Karan Johar said after watching Amir Khan starrer movie DANGAL. Dangal means wrestling competition. 

Dangal is a biographical sports drama film directed by Nitesh Tiwari. This is the forth film of Nitesh Tiwari before Dangal he was a director of Chillar Party, Kill Dill, and Bhoothnath Returns. After success of Dangal he proved himself one of the best director of Bollywood cinema industry.  Dangal is starrers are Aamir Khan

Sakshi Tanwar, Fatima Sana Shaikh, Sanya Malhotra, Zaira Wasim, and Suhani Bhatnagar. 

In the movie “Dangal” It stars Aamir Khan as Mahavir Singh Phogat who taught wrestling to his daughters Geeta Phogat and Babita Kumari in early age. He trained them very hard. Gita Phogat is a India’s first female wrestler to win at the 2010 Commonwealth Games, where she won the gold medal in 55 kg. Her sister Babita Kumari won the silver in 51 kg. They both are very humble, hard worker, and dedicated towards their work. Music is composed by Pritam and lyrics by Amitabh Bhattacharya. 

Mahavir Sing Phogat had a dream to win a Gold Madel for the nation but because of financial situation and his financial condition he was not able to achieve his dream. He used to think His son will do that but his wife gives birth to four daughters. He gives up his dream thinking that girls cannot wrestle and should only be taught household chores. But when his older daughters, Geeta and Babita come home after beating up two boys, Mahavir realises his daughters have the potential to become wrestlers. That moment changed his mind after that hard work and dedication made them everything possible. That’s the main important part of the film. Strong message for women- Specially both man and women should watch this movie because this movie is full of struggle and big achievement. When people do hard work. Hard work always pays off. One of the brilliant movie. Director, actor actress and technicians all did brilliant job. There is no any comment in the movie that’s the reason my rating is 10/10. 

And here is my rewrite:

Aamir Khan “Dangal” – An Inspiring and Emotional Story

On Saturday morning, I went to the Manhattan AMC 25 Theater to watch Aamir Khan’s latest movie “Dangal.” Dangal means wrestling competition. I was very excited to watch this movie of “Mr. Perfection” (Aamir Khan) because he always brings blockbuster movies to his audiences. He is outstanding in this movie too. This movie will inspire you to do the hard work of life because hard work, dedication, and struggles are the things that lead to success. This is very emotional movie and it may make you cry. I would like to share a few of my observations about this movie.

I can honestly say that I haven’t seen a better movie in a decade. “Dangal” is a biographical sports drama directed by Nitesh Tiwari. This is the fourth film from Nitesh Tiwari, following “Chillar Party,” “Kill Dill,” and “Bhoothnath Returns.” Renowned film Director Karan Johar commented that Nitesh Tiwari has created an absolutely brilliant movie, and I must agree. With the success of this movie, Tiwari has placed himself in the company of some of the best directors of the Bollywood cinema industry.

“Dangal” stars Aamir Khan as Mahavir Singh Phogat, a man who taught wrestling to his daughters Geeta Phogat and Babita Kumari beginning at an early age. According to Wikipedia, Mahabir Sing Phogat is an Olympics coach who was awarded the Dronacharya Award by the Government of India. He trained his daughters very hard. As a result, Gita Phogat is India’s first female wrestler to win at the 2010 Commonwealth Games, where she won the gold medal in 55 kg. while her sister, Babita Kumari won the silver in 51 kg. They both seem to be very humble, dedicated, hard workers.

As a young man, Mahavir Sing Phogat had a dream to win a Gold Medal for his nation, but his financial situation prevented that. He had hoped to have a son who might fulfill his dreams for him. Instead, his wife gave birth to four daughters. At this point,  he gave up his dream, thinking that girls could not wrestle and should only be taught household chores. However, when his older daughters, Geeta and Babita came home one day after beating up two boys, Mahavir realized his daughters had the potential to become wrestlers. In that moment, Mahavir decided that hard work and dedication could make anything possible.

This decision by Mahavir is the most crucial concept in this movie and provides a strong message of empowerment for women. Nevertheless, I believe both women and men can benefit from the overall message that the bigger the challenge, the bigger the potential for achievement. Therefore,  we must always do our best.  Tawari believes that hard work always pays off, and this movie is proof that it often does. In addition to Aamir Khan, “Dangal” also stars Sakshi Tanwar, Fatima Sana Shaikh, Sanya Malhotra, Zaira Wasim, and Suhani Bhatnagar. The musical score was composed by Pritam with lyrics by Amitabh Bhattacharya. In my opinion, Tawari, all of the actors, technicians, and other creative people involved in this film did an amazing job. Therefore, my rating is 10/10.

I have helped more than one company with their promotional materials. Here is just one sample, including my suggestions for improvement in red:

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